


concerning truth serums and insecurity

by ingenious_spark



Series: Avengers Prompt Bingo 2012 [5]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Altered Mental States, Gen, Insecurity, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Psychotropic Drugs, References to Suicide, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-19
Updated: 2012-10-19
Packaged: 2017-11-16 15:33:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/541044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ingenious_spark/pseuds/ingenious_spark
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clint has been kidnapped and drugged, and his teammates find him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	concerning truth serums and insecurity

**Author's Note:**

> Contains: kidnapping, involuntary usage of drugs/truth serum, references to character's previous desire to commit suicide, references to mind control, and insecurity/self-esteem issues
> 
> Done for my Avengers Prompt Bingo 2012, square: TRUTH SERUM

Everything is hazy and too-bright. 

(is like he’s with loki again, ohgod neveragain  _please_ )

He can’t get his eyes to focus. 

(but there’s no blue overlay this time, no feeling of being trapped in his own mind and unable to do anything but be a spectator in his own body)

The worst part about being Loki’s servant is that he had always told Loki the truth. Not that he was an inherently deceitful man, but this -  _he had no choice_.

(the other option was searing pain and never-ending agony)

This is sorta like that, and Clint is scared.

There’s color in his vision. Blues and reds and golds. A star, a triangle of light. A male voice speaking in his ear, warm, reassuring.

“…have they drugged you? Barton can you even hear me?” Noise breaks through his chaotic mind.

“Truth serum. Hallucinogenic?” He manages, feeling himself get lifted into the air. “Tasha, where’s Tasha?” He asks anxiously. Natasha is usually the one to find him, to pull him together. She knows he hates being vulnerable with his teammates - it sets him off-balance, makes him convince himself that they will see he’s not good enough. Tony’s metallic voice curses and Steve starts moving, making Clint’s world spin. He emits a muffled, choked moan and presses his head against Steve’s shoulder.

“…what’s wrong, Barton? Come on, answer me!” He realizes he’s completely drifted off for a few seconds there, and Tony looks worried. Huh. His faceplate is lifted, and Clint can actually see  _concern_  in his dark eyes. Weird.

“Why’re you worried? ‘M the least useful one. ‘Least it wasn’t you.” He mumbles, and something goes dark and troubled in Tony’s eyes. “‘S Tasha? She needs to knock me out.” He manages, tearing his eyes away from Tony’s. 

“Why do you need Friend Natasha to make you unconscious, Eyes of the Hawk?” And whoa holy  _shit_  the boom of Thor’s voice is making it hard to think/see/not hurt. He whines, curling into Steve’s back - oh,  _hey_ , when’d he get here?

“I- need-” He chokes out against a sudden wave of vertigo. “Feels like, like _Loki_ \- I can’t-” He nearly sobs.

“Can’t what, Clint?” And Tony is speaking softly, which is such a goddamn relief, and using his name which is just goddamn weird, but Thor looks kinda heartbroken, which sucks because the guy’s like a huge teddy bear and Clint can’t help but like him. 

“Can’t do this.” His mouth is a huge traitor, but then, he  _is_  drugged. “Just got myself off Tasha-suicide-watch.” He confesses and feels Steve tense against him, hears Thor drop his precious hammer, and Clint  _does_ let out a sob at that noise, like the clanging of a church bell, reverberating around his skull. 

He knows he’s been avoiding actually letting his teammates see him for what he really is, but he can’t help it. His trust is fundamentally a fragile, broken thing.

He sees Natasha out of the corner of his eye and she looks so  _sad_. He hates making her look like that, but she comes up nice and quiet and does that nerve-pinch thing that sends him into blissful unconsciousness, and his last memory is hearing Tony yell at her.


End file.
